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If you recognize ahead of time, though, what those relationship problems might be, you'll have a much better chance of getting past them.Even though every relationship has its ups and downs, successful couples have learned how to manage the bumps and keep their love life going, says marriage and family therapist Mitch Temple, author of The Marriage Turnaround.

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They hang in there, tackle problems, and learn how to work through the complex issues of everyday life.

Many do this by reading self-help books and articles, attending seminars, going to counseling, observing other successful couples, or simply using trial and error.

Let's say you've asked the right questions and you've been careful about the people you date. Words and phrases like "smothered" and "jealous" come to mind. Do both of you clearly understand why sex outside of marriage is so destructive? If your friends or family complain that they don't see you anymore, your relationship has gotten way too exclusive. Do your best to begin each date knowing how you're going to spend your time together. Do we have a good understanding of what forgiveness means? Holding grudges because you've been wronged kills a relationship.

In time, you'll probably find yourself liking one person a lot. If you find yourself moving in this direction, or if you are already in a serious relationship, here are other questions to think through and to talk about together: 1. A relationship can't survive without honesty and openness. If you have to be somebody you're not, or if either of you feels you must put up a front, then you're in the wrong relationship. If one of you can't move without the other one knowing it, then possessiveness is a big problem. If you break up tomorrow, would you end the relationship with no regrets about your physical involvement? On the other hand, no one should say "forgive me" when they really mean "accept my faults and don't expect me to change." If you want to regain trust, if you want to keep the relationship healthy, then changes must be made.

Finally, be willing to work on your relationship and to truly look at what needs to be done.

Don't think that things would be better with someone else.

They can stem, for example, from the expenses of courtship or from the high cost of a wedding.

The National Foundation for Credit Counseling (NFCC) recommends that couples who have money woes take a deep breath and have a serious conversation about finances.

As you create your future, it can be helpful to re-experience the joys and pleasures of the past that were meaningful to you.

These are memories that are yours forever; available to you whenever they are helpful.

When you make the effort, you can lessen the anger and take a calm look at underlying issues.

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