Internet dating profile cliches

We are trying to decide if we want to meet you, not investing time in an unpublished romance novel. Staying generic shows flexibility and a complete lack of personality. You didn’t laugh at all when I joked that your handicapped brother looked like Willow. Nothing is worse than the girl who writes way too much on her profile.Still, if you choose to embark on online dating, you’ve got to know that it will require you to list your interests in a text box. Stop self-consciously commenting on the online dating process and just get on board. He writes: I love exploring (insert nearest metropolitan city)What it really means: I want to give you the impression that I do cool things when in reality I go to the same bars and restaurants in between long bouts of playing video games.

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He writes: I'm not good at writing about myself What it really means: I want you to think I haven't spent too much time on this profile.

I'm going for a sexy stream-of conscious The reasoning: The truth is no one's good at writing about themselves.

Who doesn't think of themselves as at least moderately intelligent? I am also indistinguishable from just about everyone else on this site and I am trying to strike a desirable balance between mainstream and hipster.

If I ever find a profile that says, "I'm looking for a boring, unintelligent person who is down to be miserable and cry with me for extended periods of time," I will ask that person to marry me because I will have finally found someone who is actually sarcastic. The reasoning: According to Ok Cupid's data, 30 Rock is the most popular show for singles on the site.

Her friend got married and she’s expecting the same result. “I’m laid back but I know when to take things seriously. I’m comfy in jeans but I like getting dressed up for the right occasion.

When you finally get to the bottom of all this drivel it says, “If you like what you read send me a message! At the most we skimmed it for words like ‘blowjob’ or ‘multiple orgasm.’ What you wrote was as generic as a horoscope and lengthier than the Lord of the Rings series…

Either practically every eligible bachelor and bachelorette are watching 30 Rock week in and week out, creating some sort of collective, virtual laugh track, or something more cynical is at work here. Sure 30 Rock is a good show, but it’s also one of the shows you can proudly claim as one you watch, while also conveniently leaving out that you have The Bachelor Pad set to high priority on your DVR.

It's quirky without being too weird (it is on primetime after all), and smart without being too pretentious. If 30 Rock had its own profile, it'd be getting laid on the regular.

Like when it says, “I like all kinds of music.” No you don’t. I’m a comedian and I can tell you most women are not looking for witty punchlines and an outside-the-box perspective.

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