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Tell yourself this: “I have to be careful because I’m sort of addicted to jerks.

Final reminders Changing old patterns is possible but it takes time.

Be patient with yourself and remind yourself that you will find a good, neglect-and abuse-free relationship when you prioritize the right characteristics to look for in a man.

In many of these cases, the real issue is that these women have had pretty messed up experiences with previous relationships and they simply don’t know how to have a relationship with someone where everything is nice and good. Anyone who is attracted to jerks is attracted to them because someone early in life – typically a parent but it could be peers at school or others – either neglected them or treated them badly in a significant way.

Women who are attracted to jerks never felt consistently loved enough by someone when they were young, so they seek out jerks later who confirm their pathological world view: Relationships and attachments bring sadness or distress.

The nature of the system, in a manner of speaking, can put you in competition with other people who are also trying to meet people.

I know I can be idealistic, but wouldn’t it be amazing if there were a set of absolute dating rules everybody followed — sort of like the ones we (usually) adhere to while driving or in other areas of life?

Are you someone who has a history of falling for men who turn out to be what we call “jerks?

” If so, there’ s still hope for your romantic future.

The simplest way to stop being attracted to jerks Start giving decent, respectful guys more credit.

Instead of idealizing selfish jerks, why not give a little more credit to guys who are kind and decent?

He has had extensive training in conducting couples therapy and is the author of Dr.

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