Dating a lady older than me
If a woman is there at the right time for a widower, then she is in luck.
I've dated countless women and it has always amazed me how little they know about men. But the ridiculousness of my situation was embarrassingly obvious in the very instant he asked the question.
He takes you to a nice restaurant and much of the conversation centers around his deceased wife.
He just wants to tell you all the special things they did together.
We were making the standard mundane small talk about how I was liking school and college life, when the conversation took an interesting turn onto the topic of the girl I'd been dating for the last few months. I worry sometimes when I hear girls saying things like "I want him to be my long-term boyfriend," or when people under the age of 20 get concerned that they haven't had a serious relationship yet.
After I told him a little about her, he asked me a very pointed question: "Marry her? The implication in both examples is that everyone ought to have a string of relationships before settling down. With Hollywood as our vehicle, we Americans have cultivated the expectation of "dating for dating's sake." We seem to believe there is some benefit to attaching oneself emotionally to another person only to tear away again after a year or so, and then repeating the process until eventually becoming jaded, old and single.
Perhaps he invites you to his house, but everywhere you go, even the bathroom, reeks of her. He may keep you hidden from them at first, not knowing how they will react to their father with another woman. Such a man may tell you that he is working through his grieving process and that he is trying to learn to love someone again.
You try not to get your feelings hurt; but alas, it is impossible to believe that he wants anything to do with you, when her presence is everywhere. Or, he might introduce you, but they may not want to meet you, or get to know anything about you. “Trying” to love you is not a phrase you want to hear.
Most of us don't often think of Catholic priests as authorities on dating and relationships (in fact the popular belief is exactly the opposite), but the single most influential conversation I've had about dating was one that I had with a Catholic priest while I was in college. It wasn't very long afterwards that I broke up with her.
I knew him through my family and hadn't seen him in a while. Since then I've messed around with more girls than I can count, but I have never dated a girl that I knew I couldn't marry - because ultimately that is what I want.
This man has little experience with women, other than his late wife.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating