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This notion that you could get married and not know about each other's finances is one we think needs to be exploded. Credit Cards.com: As you point out in the book, marriage historically has been more about money than love. I mean, if love developed a couple hundred years ago, great, nice side benefit, but that wasn't what the institution entailed.And as the institution evolved to become more romantically driven, I don't think our vocabulary and social openness to including the economic piece evolved with it.
Credit Cards.com: Which sex is more likely to broach the subject?
Manisha Thakor: I think it totally depends on the couple.
Where our parents weren't educated about personal finance either, their financial options were fairly limited, so they were able to self-educate on the subject.
Now, we're bombarded with so many financial choices that even something as simple as picking a credit card can make your head spin. But it's true: Men and women do handle finances differently. For men, I think there is societal pressure to "man-up" around this subject.
If, at the point that you think you've found the one, you disclose to each other any financial blemishes in the same way you might disclose any sexually transmitted diseases, that is the most effective way to make sure that whatever pieces of credit carditis lurk in your history aren't going to blow your relationship to smithereens.
If you have one partner who has a history of accruing debt and you don't talk about that until after marriage, you quite literally could end up in a because-of-debt-did-we-part situation.
The goal is not for you to become the same; it's to identify where there are gaps so you can plug the hole.
If both of you lack knowledge or interest in a certain area, you can get outside help.
Credit Cards.com: So we shouldn't be surprised that the subject doesn't come up when dating.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating