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I would become more aware of people's comments about gay people and then decide who I might not want to reveal her identity to. LGBT people along with others whose stigmatizing conditions are hidden from public view have to decide on an almost a daily basis to whom to disclose their distinguishing characteristic.

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When they heard anti-gay hostility from others, they were reminded of the stigma their children would encounter.

As remarked by this mother of a lesbian: I learned who to talk to. If you are a gay, lesbian, transgender, or a bisexual (LGBT) person, or someone with a concealable disability, the thoughts and feelings of these parents must seem familiar.

When young LGBT people talk about their experiences with their families, this could spur fruitful discussions that can have the beneficial side effect of helping families recognize and appreciate the children's competence.

When parents recognize their child is able to competently negotiate a world that stigmatizes homosexuality, they are reassured--and can even grow to admire, their proud, resilient lesbian and gay children.

In order to develop and maintain good self-worth, gays, lesbians, and those who love them must grow to learn that some of the established ideas are just plain wrong.

Managing Stigma is a Family Affair Since stigma is something the entire family must face, it is good grist for family discussion.When asked "What was the most difficult thing about having a gay or lesbian child? I was at lunch with a girlfriend last week and it is a girl I have known for a number of years and she said something about a mutual acquaintance of ours, a single woman and she says, "You know, did you ever think she was gay?" most parents (close to 2/3 of the parent sample) gave replies that described their struggles with stigma. yes, there is still a stigma about being gay and I can't tell general society. " And I said, "Yeah, I did." And she said, "I don't care." And I said, "Well I certainly don't care." And I thought that was the opportunity to say, "I certainly don't care because my son is gay." And I thought I missed that opportunity.How will the child make the decision as to whom to disclose? How will family members handle the challenges of discrimination?Or, what should one do when overhearing or being told an anti-gay joke?In their minds, the treatment gays and lesbians receive is justified and proof of how wrong they are for having same-sex attractions.

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