dating n more - Am dating much older man
I think one reason it was so stress-free and enjoyable is because I was present in each moment.My energy wasn't spent worrying about whether it was going to go anywhere and when/if it was going to end. As much as I hate to admit it, when I've gone into dating someone in the past who I thought had the potential to be something serious, I've started putting pressure on it. We become so caught up in the of what that relationship could be rather than getting the chance to see if that person or that relationship is something we even want. If you're not worried about it ending or where it's going, then you're not worried about doing anything that might mess things up, so you're just completely yourself, like I was with him.
You’re not going to a get a true picture about someone’s lifestyle in a month; give yourself a few months of dating to make sure that you’ve seen him or her in as many real-life situations as possible.
Rather than asking him or her such questions directly, lay low and gather your information over time.
If you answer these questions honestly, you’ll have gobs of good information as you try to determine whether a long-term relationship with the older individual could work well.
(It will never be exactly the same for two different people.) Assess Your Proclivity for Indulgences While many behaviors in the extreme form represent a problem or even an addiction, some of those same behaviors can be harmless if not taken to the extreme.
I really should have answered her question with the long list of truly great things about dating an older man.
I’ve heard so many different rules about dating someone older, and they all boil down to a magic number: “Don’t date anyone more than ten years older,” or “Marriages never work if there’s more than fifteen years’ difference.” People love rules, telling themselves that abiding by them will cause them to get hurt less. The most important rule to follow is a general one: Make sure the two of you have the same goals for the relationship and for your daily life together. Think about whether you want to get married; have a big or tiny wedding; have children; be with someone who already has kids; live in the future in the same town or city where you’ve been dating; move somewhere far or close; have extended family very involved or not very involved in your life; have a relationship where you socialize almost always together or often; have a partner who’s more of a social butterfly or homebody; and have a partner who is very involved or not very involved in extracurricular activities. Psychological Age You’ve probably heard someone say, “He seems young for his age,” or “She’s so young at heart.” Though we all have a chronological age, we also have what I refer to as a ‘psychological age.’ How old do you feel, for example? In addition, ask yourself what the psychological age is of your prospective older partner. Again, use those early months of a relationship to gauge whether your sexualities are congruent enough.
Don’t embrace any rigid rule about age differences. Don’t be fooled into thinking that just because someone is older, he or she isn’t very sexual.
Assess Your Respective Sexualities Though I find that most people overemphasize the importance of sex and sexual attraction, intimacy is a factor worth considering.
I wasn’t sure how it would go, yet there he was, charming the pants off them all by himself, busting out his A-material small talk with some friends in a corner. Instead I shoved a cracker in my mouth and mulled over her question as I pretended it was hard to chew. Yes, my new man was older than me, much older than me.
After politely playing 20 questions with Sue about my new boyfriend, I knew this was the one she was getting at.
Consider a list of activities that fall on the hedonistic end of the behavioral spectrum: drinking alcohol, gambling, shopping, traveling, and spending, for example.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating